


The Weight On Your Shoulders

by Minuialeth75



Series: Our Universe [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 11:24:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14187870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minuialeth75/pseuds/Minuialeth75
Summary: Someone unexpected knocks on Steve's door.





	The Weight On Your Shoulders

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers up to the end credits of Black Panther. THAT scene gave me feels and I had to write this.  
> If you don't know what I'm talking about... You should know by now that if it's a Marvel movie, you stay till the very end of the end credits.

Six months. It’s been six months. And no news.  
Steve is torn between wanting the twin of the phone he sent Tony to finally ring and dreading the sound of the ringtone because it’d likely mean Bad Things were happening.  
He’d like to trust Tony to call him if things were really dire even without having forgiven him. Well, it’s rather he trusts the others to want Captain America involved and force Tony to contact him.  
He guesses he kind of thought Tony would call even if nothing important was happening.  
The silent phone hurts.

Steve realizes he’s lost count of his push ups and the fact that his arms are starting to burn is a sign that he went way past his usual routine. He pushes one last time and gets up in a fluid movement. Sniffs himself. Time for a shower, it seems. He’s about to take his tank top off when there’s a knock on his door. He freezes.  
No one’s supposed to knock. He’s in the middle of nowhere. He doesn’t even get mail. He doesn’t know how many strings Natasha pulled - and really, he doesn’t really want to – but he’s virtually invisible.  
Steve waits. Maybe he was mista… Another knock. He reasons that if the person – persons? – behind the door wanted to kill him, they’d have fired whatever weapons they have without knocking.  
Natasha and Clint don’t knock, they just enjoy breaking and entering and scaring the shit out of him whenever they feel like visiting.  
Sam just texts a date and a time so Steve knows to expect him.  
He viciously silences the notion that it might be Tony. That’s a really foolish hope. It’s too soon, way too soon. If ever…  
Steve takes a deep breath and strides to open the door.

He goes lightheaded and can’t feel his legs like he’s about to faint from fatigue, which hasn’t happened since his pre-serum days.  
It’s Bucky. Buckybuckybuckybuckybuckybuckybucky.  
He can’t feel his hands either.

Bucky’s face goes from expectant to troubled. Bucky’s face… Filled in, healthy, glowing. Longer hair, full beard. Bucky. Buckybuckybuckybuckybuckybuckybucky.

“Steve? You look like you need to sit down,” Bucky says, his voice and his eyes worried, and it feels like being right back in Brooklyn before the war.

“I… sorry, I wasn’t expecting… anybody in fact,” Steve finds the brainpower to answer and steps aside, hoping that Bucky will understand that he can enter because he feels it’ll be a moment before he can say anything else.

Bucky brushes past him and Steve closes the door. When he turns back Bucky’s _right here_.  
It strikes Steve that he’s not looking into the eyes of pre-war Bucky. That Bucky was already gone when he rescued him from Zola’s hands – or so he thought he had. It’s not the eyes of the Bucky that fell from the train either, and it’s not those of the Winter Soldier. Thankfully. He realizes that he’s never seen this version of Bucky’s soul before. It’s both unsettling and exhilarating.

“They completely deprogrammed me,” Bucky says, as if he’d have risked leaving Wakanda if that wasn’t the case. “And T’Challa’s sister, Shuri, made me this.” He holds up his left arm but he’s wearing a leather jacket, so Steve can only see the hand sticking out of the sleeve.  
“Is it…”  
“Vibranium too. With er, several twists.”  
Bucky looks _smug_ and that’s an expression Steve hadn’t even dreamt of seeing again on his face. Bucky used to hate the other arm that he didn’t ask for, and that had been an instrument of assassination and death. He looks proud of his new one and it’s like Steve is feeling _everything_ at once.  
“I wanted to see how you were doing,” Bucky resumes.  
Of course. Of course Bucky would worry about him instead of himself.  
“Do I need to know how you found me?”  
“I was very determined,” Bucky eludes, looking around. Steve feels that somehow Natasha’s involved. “You alone?”  
“The others come to visit from time to time.”  
“Tony?”  
Steve tries to keep his tone neutral but he fails by a mile. “No.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t you dare apologizing, Buck. He’ll come round.”  
“What if he doesn’t? It’s on me, Steve.”  
“He will,” Steve says with a confidence he wishes he felt. He’s not sure Bucky buys it. He knows him too well. Nobody knows him like Bucky does. “And it’s not on you. It was my choice and I’d do it all over again. Till the end of the line, remember?”  
“I remember,” Bucky utters in a firm tone, catching his eyes. “I’m remembering more and more as time goes on. The good stuff and the bad stuff,” he clarifies when he sees Steve’s look. “The good stuff is mostly the time with you.”  
Steven opens his mouth because he thinks he’s going to be able to say something to this but nothing comes out. He nods instead. The nod is wobblier than he wishes. He swallows. He’s acutely aware he’s about to cry.

“Hey,” Bucky says softly, trying to catch Steve’s eyes because he kept his head down. “Hey. Steve. Talk to me.”  
Steve shakes his head slightly. Bucky does something he hasn’t done since the days Steve was always trying to hide he was too sick to be left alone because he knew Bucky really had to work. He frames Steve’s face in his hands and gently raises his head. It’s a bit less efficient now that Steve is taller.  
The metal hand feels warm on Steve’s cheek. Alive.

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon. When I left you in Wakanda and they put you under again.”  
Bucky nods. “I know that. But you left me there anyway, because I asked. You respected what I wanted.”  
“I didn’t want to. I had just found you. Again. I wanted… I wanted to tell you that we could work this out together, not leave you thousands of miles away to be put in cryo again.”  
“But you didn’t. Because you’re selfless. Because you always do the right thing.”  
Bucky’s thumbs start stroking Steve’s cheeks.  
“You know what? I’m fucking tired of being that person, Buck.” And right now, Steve really feels like he’s 99 years old. “I’m out of my time. I tried to catch up, to adapt. And it worked. For the most part. But no one really understands how it is. Only you. And you were back in cryo.”

“Steve,” Bucky begins, gently shifting his hands behind Steve’s neck and guiding his head on his shoulder. “You have to stop trying to carry everything on your shoulders. You’re not alone. I’m here.”  
Steve kind of crumbles and Bucky puts his arms around him, almost surprised to not feel a smaller body against him.  
Steve hugs him back after a beat and Bucky realizes that it’s the first time in 44 years that someone has his arms around him with a non-violent purpose. Last time was probably Steve, come to think of it. He wonders how many people held Steve in the meantime. He hopes it’s a lot. Steve needs to be loved, even more so now that he looks strong and immovable.

One of Steve’s hands tangles in his hair, cradling his head. Bucky isn’t really surprised when he looks up and Steve’s gentle lips are on his. It shouldn’t be muscle memory, because he’s sure he’d remember if it had happened before, but it sure feels like it is.  
Steve then freezes against him and breaks the kiss. He looks at Bucky with wide eyes and opens his mouth to say something.  
“If you say you’re sorry for this I swear I’m gonna end you. You know I can,” Bucky whispers. Then he’s the one learning the shape of Steve’s mouth. He should have done that back when Steve was still a scrawny punk fighting big guys in alleyways.


End file.
